Newszine

Wonderful Weird

Unlucky cows, crazy cheer mom and dead deer

Mother Nature next on PETA’s hit list.

One lightning strike killed 52 cows in Uruguay last week. Apparently, the cows were leaning against a wire fence, as cows tend to do, when the lightning struck.

A meteorologist told the newspaper El Pais that he wasn’t surprised that a single lightning bolt could kill all those cows, but he did call it “very bad luck.” Did it really take an meteorological expert to tell us all that this, indeed, was very unlucky for both the cows and the farmer.

Questions left unanswered by this story: What are they going to do with these cows? Are electrocuted cattle safe to eat? Is the owner of this farm going to have a huge barbecue? Who is invited?
Something tells me a lot of his neighbors are going to show up offering their condolences. “Oh I’m so sorry for your loss. Do I smell steak?”

Mom finds even better way to embarrass kid

A mom in Green Bay, Wis., who wanted to relive her golden high school years, pleaded insanity after being accused of stealing her daughter’s identity so she could enroll in high school and join the cheerleading squad.

Wendy Brown, 33, enrolled in the local school as her 15-year-old daughter. Brown attended one day of classes (just like a real squad leader!), practiced with the squad and even partied at the coach’s house.

This case reminds me of that movie “Never Been Kissed.” I’m wondering if Brown had as much trouble passing off as a 15-year-old student as Drew Barrymore did. Judging by her picture, I doubt that anyone bought her “growth spurt” explanation.

Restaurant’s ‘mystery meat’ demystified

The China King restaurant in Hamburg, N.Y., was shut down Friday when an inspector found employees butchering a dead deer in the kitchen.
At first I wasn’t sure what exactly China King did wrong. I mean, sure it’s gross, but people eat deer. It’s not so unusual. But state health laws prohibit butchering an animal inside a restaurant. I guess these people have never been to a Fuddruckers.
Health officials said they didn’t think the deer had been served to any customers, although the customers probably wouldn’t have noticed. I hear deer tastes just like chicken.